Here come the leg cramps

The Baby Photographer

Sympathy Pains

Published on Wednesday, 23 April 2014 12:00

Last Updated on 22 April 2014

Michael Shilling

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A few night ago I was awoken at about 2am by noise which I can only describe as one which sounded like my wife being brutally murdered in the bed next me.
Normally when my wife hurts herself (which she does far too often see My wife falls over) she goes all quiet and deals with the pain internally whilst making a little owwww noise.
She doesn’t make a little owwww noise with leg cramps. It’s a horrible noise and one which triggered a millions thoughts in my half asleep mind along the lines of “what is happening? Is the baby coming? Have the four horsemen of the apocalypse arrived?”
So as a result we’ve been experimenting in bed…….with pillows. We purchased a 5ft bolster pillow which now sort of slips down the side of the bed. We’ve had a compete pillow upgrade after accusations of pillow stealing/swapping.
We have even tried a number of different sleeping positions many of which my unborn daughter takes exception to.

Whilst all this has been going on I seem to have lost a significant amount of bed real estate over the past few weeks both to soft furnishings and our growing child.
Before we were married we used to share a single bed in a cabin (when we were living in sin on ships). Maybe it was all the rum that we drank in those days but I have absolutely no idea how we managed to live without a ridiculously large bed.
I’m also baffled as to why I’m hanging off the edge of this bed each morning.

Back to the leg cramps, Emma has started taking baths before bed like a Victorian Lady. (I don’t think they took many baths but the analogy sounded right). That seems to work, I’ve tried to get her to swivel her feet and do other exercises in the day but as I can’t be there to keep an eye on her at work I have know idea if she really is doing them at all. It would be perhaps slightly inappropriate if I turned up at her office and made her do push up off the wall at lunch.

These little things seem to have helped……me. My wife is still not having a good night’s sleep but at least she isn’t waking me up with her banshee death wail anymore.