The Birthing Plan 1.0

The Baby Photographer

Sympathy Pains

Published on Wednesday, 09 April 2014 12:00

Last Updated on 09 April 2014

Michael Shilling

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Last week we received advice from a well known baby clothing shop after we join their mailing list.

“You can also start to think about preparing your birthing plan – getting familiar with what’s going to be happening in a few months time and seeing the environment where you will be giving birth can all be quite calming.”
It just so happens that we are soooooo prepared and on top of everything that we already have a clear and concise birthing plan already written and laminated placed next to our specially purchased hospital bag……….because you can’t just take any bag to the hospital now can you?

So here’s our birthing plan, some parts are in fact still under debate

Emma will not be cycling to the hospital.
Just because the hospital is only 10 minute bus ride away does not mean that we’ll be taking the bus either.
No epidural.
If they cut Emma open then she doesn’t want to be awake (I think she should be but we’ll see if that changes).
I am not allowed to leave the room under any circumstances.
My dad can’t come and watch (he has thing for hospitals).
Photography must be kept to a minimum (nothing goalpost end).
Video chat, webcams or live broadcasting is not allowed and that also includes anyone from Channel 4.
The bit that goes “Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba” in the Lion King song Circle of life will NOT be playing during the birth.