Because the baby needs it (things I need to do)

Apparently my unborn child already has many demands that she needs me to fulfil. Thankfully Emma has the ability to translate biological signals into clear and concise instructions that I need to follow.

So far baby needs me to do the following:Baby really needs me to do the washing up.
Baby needs me to move the sofa.
Baby would like me to bake a cake, now.
Baby needs me to go and get a strawberry McDonald’s milkshake.
Baby needs to to come to bed at 8:30pm to help keep her warm.
Baby needs me to not watch Match of the Day in bed.
Baby needs me to throw out those horrible vases we brought that matched our old bedding.
Baby needs me to paint her room but only when she is not home because when she is home she requires some attention.
Baby needs a ice cream from across the road.
Baby needs matching furniture expertly assembled.
Baby needs wet wipes that don’t smell like wet wipes.

I have my suspicions that some of baby’s needs are in fact Emma’s needs but I daren’t question her on it incase it triggers another irrational sobbing session.

“It wasn’t me, it was baby crying, you’ve upset baby because you didn’t ………”

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