Who has Control in your House?

You wake up one morning and you feel this sense that something isn’t right. You are not sure what, but you know that things are not as they should be. Mothers have a way of knowing these things long before we can even see what the problem is.

You grudgingly get up from your warm comfy bed, trod on down the stairs and head for the cupboard to grab a cup, then saunter over to the coffee pot when you spot your child with his face buried in a bowl of sugar pops and you instantly get defensive.

“Why are you eating that cereal”, you demand?
“Dad let me”, he reluctantly answers while diving back into the sugary goodness.

You storm upstairs to the bathroom to demand why your husband undermined your authority on what your child could eat.  He informs you that ‘your’ child said that you would let him have it if dad said it was ok, so he said, ‘sure why not, if mom says so, then it must be ok’.

You storm back downstairs finally filling your cup with some coffee and fall into the kitchen chair, glaring at your child who has now drained the milk from the bowl, spilling half of it on the table.  You are angry, frustrated and feel betrayed. But you are still not sure who you are angriest at, your child or your husband.

Where did it all go wrong?
How did this child get more control than you did?

Children know how to win. They watch, dissect and learn, figure out ways to play parents against each other. They usually have no problem deceiving or outright lying to get what they want.  Most children understand the law of war.  Do you? Do you know how they are winning in your home?

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