How to cope with the loss of a loved one
- Mums Tips
- Parenting Skills
- Published on Tuesday, 22 February 2022 21:39
- Last Updated on 22 February 2022
- Monica Costa
- 0 Comments
Nobody more than me knows what it means loosing a loved one. Losing someone you love is one of life’s greatest challenges. I have lost most of my closest family members. Whether you’ve lost a parent, a spouse, a child, or a close friend, these types of experiences change your life forever. The shock of having someone taken away from you can give way to all sorts of emotions, from anger and anguish to disbelief, guilt, or deep sadness. There are no words to describe the pain you feel, and no magical cure to stop the suffering.
Although loss is a normal part of life, and we all have to deal with it at one point, in one way or another, it’s still incredibly difficult to come to terms with the fact that you’ve lost someone forever. It’s also true that different people experience grief differently. While some recover from loss on their own, in a matter of months, for others it might take years until they can feel “normal” again. In the end, we all have the power to overcome loss and move on with our lives, as hard as it might be.
But even if the path to recovery doesn’t look the same for everyone, there are certain things that can help people cope with their loss and work through the process of grieving. If you’ve lost someone recently or if you’re still trying to adjust to life without a loved one, these tips can provide a bit of guidance and support during these difficult times.
Allow yourself to feel
Sometimes, the pain can be so devastating that you consciously or unconsciously build a wall around your emotions and feelings. The mere idea of experiencing so many emotions at once can be so scary that it stops you from feeling anything at all. So, you choose numbness instead of working through the pain, as the lesser of two evils.
It might feel like you’re protecting yourself, but the pain won’t go away if you do so. You’re just avoiding it and delaying the healing process. Eventually, everything will come to the surface and you’ll have to face it. It’s better to allow yourself to feel all the range of emotions that loss brings along, from anger to sadness and everything in between. And remember, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to emotions. Whatever you feel, you’re entitled to it.
Look for support
You might feel like you’re all alone in your suffering and that no one else can understand you. But even if your pain is uniquely yours, and it can be difficult to explain to others what you’re going through, sharing your burden can make your load a lot lighter.
While it’s normal to need time alone as you’re processing your loss, it’s just as important not to isolate yourself from the rest of the world. When things get too overwhelming for you to manage on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You can talk to your family or friends about your feelings, or you can seek professional help from a qualified therapist. All these people can provide the guidance and support you need so much during this stage of your life.
Take care of yourself and your loved ones
It can be difficult to think about others while you’re grieving, but you might not be the only one suffering. Other family members can be equally affected by the loss, especially if your loved one was the main provider for you. Apart from the emotional trauma, this tragic event might also leave you with a financial burden on your shoulders.
As experts at Medical Negligence Assist explain, in certain circumstances, if the family member you’ve lost died due to a negligent act by another person, you can pursue a claim for wrongful death. The compensation that you could receive in this situation can provide the financial support that you and your family require to make the recovery process a bit smoother.
Don’t rush the grieving process
A lot of people will say that life doesn’t wait for you to get better, so you have to pick yourself up and move on. While it might be true that life continues its course with or without you, it doesn’t mean you have to pretend you’re alright when in fact you’re still struggling to make sense of what happened to you, just because that’s what the world expects from you.
This is not a time when you should focus on other people’s expectations. Grieving is not something you can put a date on. It takes time to process such a traumatic event, and everyone recovers at a different pace. So, try not to rush the process and let yourself experience all stages of grief, from denial to acceptance.
Hold on to the things that provide stability
Since you’re already going through a major change in your life, now might not be the best time to make any other significant changes. So, if you had wanted to change your job, move to a different city or buy another house, it’s probably best if you postponed these plans for a while. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your dreams and plans. It’s just a way to ensure a sense of comfort and stability when everything around you feels strange and different. However, if you feel that making a change might be beneficial to you, don’t hesitate to take the leap.
Cherish the time you had together
The things you miss the most about the person you’ve lost are also the things that can give you the strength and will to move on. You can find solace and comfort in the good memories you’ve shared, by celebrating their life and the time you’ve had together. Even if your loved one is no longer with you physically, nothing can erase what you two shared. Small gestures like donating to a charity in their name, or planting a tree in their honor can keep their memory alive and help you embrace your life without them.
Monica Costa founded London Mums in September 2006 after her son Diego’s birth together with a group of mothers who felt the need of meeting up regularly to share the challenges and joys of motherhood in metropolitan and multicultural London. London Mums is the FREE and independent peer support group for mums and mumpreneurs based in London https://londonmumsmagazine.com and you can connect on Twitter @londonmums