A Guide to Dating as a Single Mum
- Mums Tips
- Parenting Skills
- Published on Thursday, 22 August 2019 11:06
- Last Updated on 22 August 2019
- Monica Costa
- 0 Comments
Being a single parent can be challenging at times, and for some mums, this can mean putting your love life on the back burner until the kids get older. There is no right or wrong time to start dating in terms of how long to wait after a separation, or how old your kids should be; it is all about whether you feel ready.
If you have been off the dating scene for some time, then you might not be completely up to speed with the nuances of dating and the rise in popularity of online dating. A survey by wedding brand, The Knot, revealed that one in three marriage proposals were a result of meeting online, so it really is considered to be one of the more successful ways to meet ‘The One’.
The problem is that if you’re not sure whether you should be saying yes or no to that spontaneous date, or you’re struggling to choose a dating app that isn’t full of immature wannabe Love Islanders, then don’t worry, you’re not alone. Here are some tips to help you navigate through the minefield of modern dating.
Online dating for beginners
Okay, so there are a lot of online dating apps and sites to choose from these days and it is important to use the one that matches up with what you are looking for. If you are looking for casual dating, you might choose to pay for a membership to help yourself get the best online dating experience. In most cases, if you are serious about finding love, the paid sites, or sites that offer exclusive paid features, tend to be more effective.
Beware of time-wasters, as unfortunately there are a lot out there. It is not always easy to identify them but go with the theory that if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Once you’ve been chatting to someone and found out enough information to decide that you want to meet up and see if you have chemistry in person, it’s time to arrange a date if you feel ready for it. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t give your address out, and you should always meet in a public place. A pub, bar or coffee shop somewhere fairly busy is a good place to try for a first date. If it doesn’t go well then you can always leave after one drink or make up some excuse about your dog throwing up on the babysitter.
When you are figuring out dating in London, you might want to try somewhere that is close to a tube station and is busy enough to not have to deal with the awkward silences if you don’t have a lot to say at first – people-watching is always good fuel for conversation. You could try bars like the Flight Club to add a bit of competitive fun into the date, rather than panicking about the pressure of making constant conversation.
Talking about the kids
Some mums are reluctant to mention the kids until it gets more serious but in most cases, it is better to be upfront about little and not-so-little bundles of joy. If they are not keen on meeting someone with kids, at least you will know early on and not allow them to waste any more of your time. After all, your kids will always come first no matter what, so it’s all about finding the right person who will love them equally as much as you.
Just because you are a single parent doesn’t mean that you should miss out on dating fun and the possibility of new love. Even if you date a few people that are not right for you, don’t throw in the towel, as the right one could be just around the corner.
Monica Costa founded London Mums in September 2006 after her son Diego’s birth together with a group of mothers who felt the need of meeting up regularly to share the challenges and joys of motherhood in metropolitan and multicultural London. London Mums is the FREE and independent peer support group for mums and mumpreneurs based in London https://londonmumsmagazine.com and you can connect on Twitter @londonmums