Tips on how to combat stress that challenges intimacy 

In our regular column by the Love Coach we have covered relationships and intimacy a lot. Unsurprisingly, stress plays an important role in our love life and can seriously compromise intimacy. It’s important to identify the sources of that stress to figure out how to resolve issues that are in the way of a fulfilling relationship. This blog aims to explore the causes to find solutions.

Sexual Problems

A medical problem can affect physical intimacy and cause huge strains in a relationship. A common example is ED (erectile dysfunction). It is estimated that about half of men will have experienced ED by the time they reach middle age. Yet, it is still something that many men are too embarrassed to discuss. This seems a taboo subject when it shouldn’t be as treatments such as Tadalafil are readily available. Performance anxiety is also another factor that can affect intimacy. Some types of blood pressure medications or antidepressants can cause this problem. It could also be that your partner has body issues and does not want you to see them without clothing. If you or your partner is having trouble with intimacy issues, you should discuss this with a relationship therapist. This problem is much easier to resolve than it seems with the right advice.


The coronavirus pandemic has created an enormous strain on relationships and family lawyers are predicting a post-lockdown divorce boom for 2021 across the world. To remedy the dramatic rise in separation cases as well as support singles’ dating, the Authentic Love Conference on Zoom on 10-11th April 2021 aims to bring practical resources from the world’s leaders in relationship neuroscience, counselling, therapy and psychology. This event is the brainchild of Thomas Westenholz, an experienced Love Coach who has supported hundreds of people looking for authentic love throughout the pandemic. During this tough year, relationships have been tested more than ever as couples got stuck together in small spaces and singles have suffered unprecedented levels of depression caused by loneliness. During the conference he will exclusively present his revolutionary Love-Map Methodology which is comparable to a driving license in love relationships. The two day virtual event will give us a clear, easy and practical way to learn the skills of intimacy. 

Low Self-Esteem

People with low self-esteem are not confident in themselves and do not like to get too close to anyone. They may steer clear of relationships or intimacy because they feel unlovable and don’t want to be rejected. Being intimate with someone requires us to be able to be comfortable with a partner and let them get close to us both physically and emotionally. A good starting point is practising Self-love – especially during the pandemic in which we are lacking socialisation opportunities. 

There are great books that can help with boosting self-esteem (click on the collage to check the full list).

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

If you went through a serious traumatic episode in your life, you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Having PTSD can create a fear of intimacy. Depending on the type of trauma you went through (including its duration and seriousness), you will likely carry this with you for life without any professional treatment. Things that can cause PTSD include: a major accident (i.e. a car crash), Child abuse or neglect, a serious or chronic illness (i.e. cancer, diabetes or heart attack), domestic abuse or violence (i.e. rape), war, an incident such as fire or a first aid response, painful past relationships. PTSD has to be tackled by a professional for immediate resolution of the problem. 

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