Take care of your and your children’s mental health

Mental health has become a buzzword with a lot of stigma attached to it. But how can you best support yourself and your child in their mental wellbeing? Don’t underestimate the importance of mental health. One of the priceless sources to help with my research and to understand children’s mental health is the iSpace Toolkit.

This practical box including a book, a special pen and a poster can be used by the whole family to continue what your child is learning at school and bring it into the home. By creating a common language that all the family can use to talk about mental wellbeing, the iSpace Toolkit provides a go to guide, conversation map and handy card deck designed to make mental wellbeing part of the fabric of everyday life. The most effective approach is when what is learned at school crosses over to the home environment, when this happens the teacher, child and parent learn and grow together and knowledge and behaviour is embedded in their everyday life. This toolkit helps to continue the conversation at home, providing us parents with the language and know-how to turn these “difficult” conversations into a positive learning experience for the whole family. iSpace member schools have access to bespoke workshops for parents to enable them to build on what their child is learning in school at home. Our range of iSpace Wellbeing learning tools and books are also designed to help parents and children at home. 

Improve sleep quality 

I have to admit that I have become a bit of a sloth during the pandemic and it now takes me a lot longer to do simple tasks. My sleep has been disrupted a bit too because I tend to go to bed later at night. Sleep patterns have changed. So I have done some research on what to do when sleep is disrupted as well as tested new products to promote sleep. I’m sharing here simple hacks that work for me to have a good night sleep.

This second lockdown has been much harder than the first one. I have to admit that I have become a bit of a sloth during the pandemic and it now takes me a lot longer to do simple tasks. My sleep has been disrupted a bit too because I tend to go to bed later at night. Sleep patterns have changed. 

What to do when sleep is disrupted

7 Top tips for a better night’s sleep

Help and advice on achieving quality sleep for you and your baby

Sleep better, Live longer

Me-time 

Setting some time apart from yourself might seem impossible during hectic times but try to make it a priority to try something you enjoy. Even if you start small with just 30 minutes a day, every bit can help to prevent burnout.

Yoga is a great exercise to prevent burnout. With its focus on breathing and strengthening the mind-body connection Yoga is an excellent stress-reliever. Yoga being a highly reflective practice also helps with the above mentioned of self-compassion and high emotional intelligence. Yoga is open to all levels and is not about pushing yourself as hard as you can but about getting to know yourself and your body.

While it may not always be easy to set some time for yourself apart,to remain calm and reflect upon your own emotions it is better and easier to prevent burnout, rather than having to recover from it. 

Often, especially as parents, we just keep on doing, doing, doing because we think the people around us need us to function 24/7. But the irony is, that by taking time out for yourself, it will not just benefit you but also your children and other people around you, as you will have more energy to remain calm and give situations the quality of attention they deserve. 

I often use essential oils to create a calming environment in my house. Here are my suggestions: 

 

#1. Angst busting: 

Roman chamomile helps calm anxiety and shocks to the nervous system.

Tip: Blend 2 drops of Roman chamomile essential oil + 5 drops of sweet almond plant oil, gently massaging into the solar plexus. The solar plexus — also called the celiac plexus — is a complex system of radiating nerves and ganglia. It’s found in the pit of the stomach in front of the aorta. It’s part of the sympathetic nervous system. 

#2. To calm feelings of anger:

Marjoram is the “zen queen”: it calms and rebalances the mind, and helps reduce mood disorders.

Tip: Massage 5 drops of marjoram essential oil + 15 drops of sweet almond plant into the solar plexus and plantar arch whenever you feel anger coming on, or twice a day (morning and midday) during periods of conflict.

The plantar arch is technically called a circulatory anastomosis. That’s the connection between two blood vessels, or between veins and between an artery and a vein and formed from:

The deep plantar artery – the dorsal artery of the foot and the lateral plantar artery

#3. Stress buster:

Petitgrain bigarade has a relaxing effect. It helps calm all nervous imbalances.

Tip: Three or four times per day, inhale a blend of 2 drops of petitgrain bigarade essential oil diluted in 2 drops of sweet almond plant oil placed on the inside of your wrists. 

Or, try Puressentiel Stress Roll-on. The Puressentiel Stress Roll-on contains 12 essentials oils, including Lavender, Mint, Marjoram, Roman Camomile, Neroli, Orange, Petitgrain, West India Sandalwood, Clary Sage, Vetiver, Ylang Ylang to name but a few. Great for on the go, the Puressentiel Stress Roll-on can help relieve tension and calm feelings of anger, nervousness or low morale. 

Directions: Apply to the skin: inside of wrists, temples and sides of the neck. Rub the wrists against one another, and breathe in deeply the scent of the essential oils whenever the feeling of stress arises. 

Rely on your support network

Good co-parenting is crucial to prevent burnout, especially during this pandemic. If you are able to split the responsibility fairly. If you feel something needs to change here, try to have a calm conversation at a convenient time. 

Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

Single parents have an especially difficult task here, especially during the pandemic, but try as best as you can to accept and actively seek help from people around you. 

Often women tend to take on more of the so-called “mental load”, meaning while their partner might help with tasks, the responsibility to remember and remind their partner of these tasks often falls back onto women. This is often underestimated, invisible work. There is a reason why project managers get paid a lot – remembering a million things is hard work and can drain you.  So make sure not just to split tasks fairly but also the mental load associated with those tasks.

Another good way to train this is when someone is criticising you, try not to react but to understand their view point and then respond calmly – obviously this is easier said than done, but just taking one deep breath and thinking for a second can already make a difference.