London Fashion Week review: Malan Breton

‘Wherever you go, shine’. So goes Malan Breton’s motto, and he definitely walks the walk. Diamanté on black, glittering trains, glossy PVC in black and red, brushed silver, shimmery silks… 

Of course there’s the outlandish flourishes, like a sheath dress that looks like the model got stuck halfway through a birthing ball. But we were really blown away by some beautiful, classic black evening wear with slits up to both knicker lines. I also loved the playful acres of ruffled tulle and the ball gowns that moved like jellyfish. 

Fiery autumn colours counteracted the black, with hot reds, oranges and yellows. A few days later, I surprised myself by buying an orange Coach wallet on sale, the first orange thing I’ve ever bought. Because Malan Breton said it’s ok. That’s what I love about fashion shows, they blow up the rules and taboos, ‘Can you really do that??!!’ 

So what? you’ll say, ‘Like I’ve got time…’ But don’t let yourself go. Everyday should be your very own mini fashion show. Surprise yourself. Try on something daring, jump gender, splash colours and clash styles. Keep your public guessing. 

And dress to the occasion. If you’re going to a movie, get inspired by one of the characters; for a Picasso exhibition, give your Marinière an airing. In October I’m going to celebrate a friend’s birthday at Petersham Nurseries (as in plants), and I’m going flowerful darling, no question. 

The Malan Breton fashion show was in fact 3 in one, with the front-row influencers strutting their style, while the boisterous public jostled for a brush with fame. We had the best fun ogling all their eye-popping combos, I mean, seriously; we got hedgehog one moment, orc the next! 

Breton was not the only act. One A-lister spotted among all the melée was Jimmy Choo who was keen to review the year’s output from his School of Fashion. We had already waited two hours for it it start, so had to leave part-way, as the Connaught room was suffocatingly hot and boomy.

My daughter summarised it well: Fun. Stylish. Loud.

The chosen charity was Prost8, which encourages men to get themselves checked out sooner rather than later. It’s a horrid procedure, which leaves them feeling violated, but hey, now they know how we feel. I was surprised to see very few male models on the runway.

Prost8 at ICON 2023

Posing with Prost8’s new Manhood And Dignity pants. Told you there was an orc…


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