What is the ‘Write’ way for our children?

Nov 22 2020

The other day, my neighbour stopped to chat and introduced me to her 4-year-old granddaughter. Before I could say hello, she said proudly that she can count to 100 and write her name.  This is not unusual and resonant of a growing pattern where adults seem to feel it is important to want their children to be able to read and write almost before they can speak.

So, what has prompted this urge?  Do we need children to be able to sign their names by the age of three? Do they have their own chequebooks?  I suspect it is part of our modern urge to teach children complex concepts far too early.

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Love coach: How to reconnect after an argument

Nov 21 2020

Arguments happen in all relationships.

Research has shown that arguments are usual and does not mean you can’t have a long and happy relationship.

Couples therapy has taught me it’s how we argue and how we reconnect that matters.

A key characteristic of happy couples is that they turn towards each other after an argument.

They come together and try to understand the other, and while they might complain about the other’s actions, they never make it about their character.

Let’s look at some ways to reconnect once you have both calmed down.

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Love coach: How to end toxic relationship conflicts

Nov 19 2020

We often forget that a relationship is the integration of two nervous systems.

This person we attach to has a far more significant impact on our nervous system than others.

That means they can calm but also excite us easier.

That’s why we get so easily triggered by our partner but not our colleagues, friends, or strangers.

It’s also why our partner’s touch can calm us down far better than the touch of a stranger if you are securely attached.

That’s why the most crucial skill couples need to learn is how to regulate their nervous system, so when we feel anxious or fearful, we can calm down, and when we feel unmotivated, we can create excitement.

Therein also lies the balance between boredom and anxiety. Too much excitement creates fear and anxiety, and too little cause boredom.

The destructive conflicts in relationships happen for two reasons.

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