The REAL cost of divorce

Divorce in many cases is becoming a fast route to poverty.

Not only does divorce often bring a severe heartbreak that can take a vast time to heal.  Research shows that people are not healingfrom divorce.

> The 2nd marriage divorce rate is 53%

> 3rd marriage divorce rate is 72% and

> 4th marriage divorce rate is 84%

Each year about 1.2 million couples get divorced in the US vs 120,000 in the UK, costing taxpayers an estimated $30 billion in Federal and state expenditures (Schramm, 2006).

Each divorce costs society about $25,000 to $30,000 because of the increase in costs of supporting people with housing, food stamps, bankruptcies, problems with youth and other related expenses.

The effect on Children when parents go through a divorce is shocking and should not be dismissed.

  • In a study of 3,500 children whose parents have divorced. Between the children’s first and third grade, they scored lower in math and had poorer interpersonal skills than those whose parents stayed married.
  • At high school level, children from intact families have significantly better test scores, compared to children of divorced parents. One example in the study was that by the age of 13 there is an average difference of half a year in the reading ability between children of divorced parents and children from intact families.
  • Other research cited included a study that found children from divorced families were 26% more likely to drop out of secondary school compared to children brought up in intact families. Moreover, even if a divorced parent re-married this did not remove the negative impact of the initial divorce on children’s academic results.
  • The divorce penalty extends up to college. Fagan and Churchill reported one study that found only 33% of students from divorced families graduate from college, compared to 40% of those from intact families.

Where children have experienced several break-ups they are ten times as likely to have severe behavioural problems. The emotional damage is long lasting. In late middle age they are still more likely to have major breakdowns than those from stable homes.

This should be a motivation to LEARN from past relationships and see where you can change and never rush into a relationship. Correct healing is VITAL, so that second and/or third marriages don’t fall into a repeat pattern creating a vicious cycle of a broken generation.

Failing relationships cost, for everyone involved. Stress and Trauma is a very serious and a growing issue in work places. People unable to function at work, under so much stress that loss of concentration and lack of confidence becomes evident.

Stress affects one in five of the working population. It is now the single biggest cause of sickness in the UK.

Over 105 million days are lost to stress each year costing UK employers £1.24 billion. But If you leave healing too long, you can really become seriously traumatised and not be able to work for an even longer period of time. Lack of proper support and Lack of appreciation of how big the trauma is, consequently knocks self esteem and confidence.

So what is the REAL COST OF DIVORCE that sometimes gets swept under the rug?

And what are the REAL and CORRECT ways to handle these situations?

Being Educated in the real cost of Divorce is a great step to understanding the most effective and healthy ways to prevent these disturbing Statistics from growing.

Till next time!

Lots of hugs

About Adele Theron

I am a change management chick. I help organisations cope with big changes (mergers, acquisitions, large implementations) and I coach and support people through divorce and break ups. It's all about using the energy of the change to transform lives! I have been working since 2000 with some of the world’s largest corporations, as a change management specialist, helping people adapt to new situations and experiences created by mergers, acquisitions and large software implementations. The techniques I use and created to help companies and individuals adapt to change were used very successfully to aid thousands of individuals within 18 separate organizations. I went through a divorce in March 2009 and was way too busy to have an emotional breakdown so used my change management techniques to develop a rapid and intense process to heal and experienced a complete transformation. The process I used has since evolved into a clear cut 21 day strategy for getting over a divorce, capable of dealing with the most dramatic of situations. I believe that we are living in an unprecedented time of change. The real danger for society is that people resist, ignore or run away from massive changes in their lives and consequently do themselves long-term damage. Divorce can be a very destructive force and high powered, professional career women, like myself, don’t have the luxury of time to fall apart. We want an alternative to months in therapy - something which will hold us together whilst helping us heal around our busy schedules that will also enable us to build healthy, future relationships which are drama-free. Consequently, I have developed a clear pathway, revolutionising the way people view and process change, harnessing its energy to enable deep personal transformation - beyond mere transition. I focus on providing three benefits to my clients: • I help people create a solid support structure which grounds them, freeing them to sustain consistent high performance, whilst dealing with the change • The clear, effective and simple process enables people to harness the energy generated by the change to transform their lives • Results are experienced quickly and the personal transformation is deep and profound but my approach is not for the faint-hearted as I work within an intense 21 day period How I currently deliver this is... > Through corporate change management consulting and programs which I run > Through one-on-one coaching with high powered career women. Also, so that more women all over the world can access the breakthrough results I have achieved, I have written a book entitled ‘The Naked Divorce – 21 days to emotional freedom’ which will be published by January/ February 2011. I am also developing a series of audio and video divorce crisis programs which help women get over their divorce within 21 days. These programs can be accessed online and used around their busy schedules to maintain their high performance. To sum this all up. I am all about helping people adapt to change quickly, whilst experiencing great transformation. The best way to connect with me is by email or phone! When I am not focused on change, I love motorcycling, India, Cuba, South Africa, english bull terriers, the beach, being a Pescatarian, triathlons, travelling, romance, dancing salsa, painting, singing at the top of my lungs and riding my motorcycle wherever I damn well please. Life is for living, so sieze the day!

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