Child abuse and how Mums can stop it!
- Published on Wednesday, 01 February 2012 11:25
- Last Updated on 22 February 2012
- Sharon J. Bainbridge
- 1 Comment
This is my first blog on the London Mums’ website. And I wanted to start it with a powerful message, and that is that only Mums can stop child abuse. A real father will fight to make changes to the Internet so that adult sites are a paid for service, which is well away from families and children. How many real fathers do you know? Adult sites open the doors to bad sites that abuse children. Something has to be done to stop it.
In Australia they have banned the page 3 image of women degrading all women. So why are English/British women putting up with this trash?
When I go onto my email, adverts come up showing local men in my area. I don’t want this rubbish so why is it forced on me! This is a total disgrace as family values are being destroyed. The worrying thing is what hope do our children have when it is so easy for unhappy parents to cheat?
How do you feel about your partner seeing free local women in your area? Even my brother admits that most men cheat because they can.
We need to force the Internet to move all adult content somewhere far away from families and children. Adult sites are destroying family lives and businesses. Did you know adult sites use child-related names and images to promote their disgusting videos to get to the top of search engines? They are also used to stop Mums’ trading. The question is: why are they not punished and fined?
I work in a school canteen part-time because my business was attacked by Cyber Bullies. When workmen came into our school with the Sun paper and had it open on page 3, I was not only degraded as a women, but as a Mother. Even worse than that I thought how dare they bring this trash into a school canteen and not care if children see it. But this is the sick society we live in. Seriously, mothers and children need to demand some respect as some men pay us less wages and think they can treat us like dirt, and we let them.
Did you know that a lot of people that star in adult films are damaged people that suffered child abuse themselves? What an awful thought that they felt such low self worth they have ended up being used by people who care only about money, and made to feel that this is their only career choice.
Child abuse is sadly for me not taken seriously enough in the UK and the punishment is a joke. A person that steels a child’s childhood by taking away their innocence, not only destroys their childhood memories but takes away their future as well. As an adult that memory never leaves them, it repeats like a broken record, day in and day out. Sending some people into a mental breakdown where they never recover. And there they are punished again for not being able to fit into our society and made fun of. The mental health people do not seem to acknowledge or understand just how damaging child abuse is to a person and how it destroys their self worth, confidence and well being. There needs to be more support for these poor people where they can get the proper help to put this nightmare behind them.
The good news is I have been doing some research and my theory has rang true. I contacted the Department of Psychological Medicine about treating mentally ill people with hypnotherapy to get over the past. It is a fact that all mentally ill people have suffered some horrific trauma in childhood or adulthood which has made them ill. So putting the past behind them is essential so they can get better.
Anyway, here is his message to me:
Although I am not aware of scientific evidence, I would anticipate that hypnotherapy can be helpful in helping people cope with anxiety and mood disorders. I would see it as additional to other treatments like psychotherapy and medication, rather than as a replacement for the other treatments.
I hope this helps.
Professor Nick Craddock
Professor of Psychiatry, Department of Psychological Medicine
Cardiff University School of Medicine
I am 100% sure that if I could get a doctors’ recommendation for a Hypnotherapist for my sister, there would be hope to get her better. My real father introduced me to hypnosis when I was in my 30s. At first I was a non believer, but seeing my father walk up and down ladders with a bad hip in no pain made me give it a try.
He managed to work right up to his hip replacement as the hypnotherapy somehow took the pain away. After coming out of an eight year relationship with no ring on my finger and lots of failed relationships. A few bad childhood memories I thought it was time to put the past behind me and move on with my life. And it was worth every single penny. When my boyfriend wanted me back I smiled and showed him pictures of Mr Gorgeous, the guy I was dating at the time, and bragged about how fantastic life was. The confidence it gave me I cannot begin to explain. But most of all that horrible childhood memory that hurt me for too many years was numbed. The memory was there but that awful pain had gone. I know I can stop my sisters’ pain if I can get her to see a hypnotherapist through her GP. They will put her nightmares into a box and throw away the key. Goodbye never ending record with the sad tune and hello happiness.
I want my sister to write about her awful abusive marriage and what her ex husband put her through so she can get the pain out forever and leave it behind her. Imagine your husband bringing home strange women and expecting you to do things with them. Also imagine your husband watching an adult film with his friend while you are in the house. She was scared witless. And that is only the half of it. He should be locked up. Is it any wonder she has had a mental breakdown. At 17 years old I saw my sister take my Mother’s medication. Right before my eyes I saw her acting exactly the same as our Mother. She was hearing voices through the walls and her eyes were reaching for the ceiling. Her legs started twitching.
The thing is my Mother is ill because of child abuse and bulling by a teacher at school. At 3 years old a neighbour stole her childhood. He destroyed her life as she had her first breakdown at 17 years old. Her marriage to my real father was a nightmare. And I have lost count of the times I have seen her try to take her own life. That man not only stole her childhood and adulthood, he took away our Mother. And my poor Nan died not only feeling ugly because of the colour of her skin. But she died hearing my Mother say you are not my Mum. Why would she say such a thing? Because she is broken. My Mum has mimicked what happened to my Nan, by saying she was adopted. Poor Nan was made to eat and sleep in a shed with her two brothers at four years old when she lost both her parents. This is what the old Government called a children’s home. Things have changed a lot since then. The old Government also stole her dead father’s army pension so there racist Grandmother was unable to keep them.
Child abuse is something that affects a lot of children. Sadly for some if they talk about it some families disowns them. Don’t be afraid, stand tall and say NO. Threaten to tell someone as just that threat alone can make them stop!
“I said NO, I will tell!” And they stopped! I managed to save myself from one more nightmare. Even though I knew the person I was going to tell would not believe me and would take the side of the abuser because sadly this is what some people do. The victim becomes the victim yet again. But not if we re education them to stand up to bullies and protect our children the way life should be!
Together Mums can change our world to be more child friendly! And I would like to leave you with a poem my sister wrote about the way she feels she has mirrored our Mother’s illness. It is called Mother. It was so beautiful and sad that I asked my partner to make it into a song. It was played on our local radio station last year, I hope you like it as much as I do. P.S. This song is no longer on I-Tunes.
I used to work in Gilbert’s house for Haskoll Architects. I really enjoyed living in Pimlico, Putney and Wimbledon. Back then I used to travel and dated a New Zealand guy. Eight years of no ring on the finger and I decided to quit. My sister convinced me to go to Dorset for a weeks holiday and fixed a date with the local singer. We are still together 11 years later and have a little girl. I have always been creative. Nan used to make peg dolls with me and left me her old sewing box, which I treasure. When I worked in a pub in Hastings I made my own clothes. In my twenties I did a doll making course in Brighton and tried to start my own business. I managed to get some handmade brooches into a Covent Garden shop. But decided to stick to secretarial work, which brought in a regular salary. I adore taking photographs so when my little girl was born I decided to take a local photography course. My tutor was so impressed with my Photoshop skills he asked me to teach him some of my techniques. When I showed my Mother in law the Victorian style dress I made for my little girl she said why don’t you have a go at making a Butterfly costume. Well the rest is history. Butterfly Lullaby was born. Butterfly Lullaby is my fairy book, album and Trademark. The Mark Jermin Stage School are the characters in my story and my partner created all the songs. The book was launched at the Dylan Thomas Centre back in March 2007. It was truly beautiful. You can view the little fairies dancing on You Tube. Robin Stevens who you may know from Rosie and Jim is on my Butterfly Lullaby website reading my fairy story Colour me a fairies wish. We were going to do personalised children’s stories together. But shiny things attract gremlins. The trick is to keep going and never give up. My little girl danced to our song Butterfly Lullaby at the Enchanted Manor in front of famous fairy artist Josephine Wall back in October 2009. My little girl and I love making art and craft videos, which we hope to share with London Mum’s. The one thing I adore about London is the way you just fit in. The City is full of different cultures, which makes it an interesting and friendly place to live. I am currently trying to scrapbook postcard my family history. Does anyone know anything about the family history on the old LeFevres department store in Canterbury which is now Debenhams. My Nan’s Grandmother’s name was LeFevre and she lived in Bayswater. Nan was an orphan so we are trying to uncover the hidden ghosts!